No idea. But it sounds managerial.
To fire someone, dismiss them or process their resignation. Example use: "I just want to confirm the procedure of off-boarding an employee. When it comes to the Employee Life-cycle, there's a gap in my knowledge and I want the learnings to make things more streamlined going forward."
Try it out
To get everybody thinking the same. E.g "Guys, we need some serious strategic alignment on this to ensure the best user journey and best effeciency savings going forward!"
I'll get back to you
Absolutely no idea chaps! I heard this from Mr Nesbitt on an LBC Radio phone-in talking about taking problematic pupils. To take them to one side after lessons to have a "restorative conversation" to put things right. Idiot!
Just exciting, but everyone in senior management see exciting opportunities going forward!
The people in charge of a project
Management speak for refusing to pay any attention to detail
Messed it up... badly
Something that we can present. NB: This is usually something like a strategy, workshop or a transformation workflow. Rarely is it a product or a service.
Just a poncy name for a plan. These days, managers have "strategies". They don't have plans anymore.
Minimum Viable Product. The minimum we can deliver to get a change or new product approved!
The process a business follows to get a new customer
"Throw it at the fridge and what sticks, we'll manage": Throw everything out there and deal with the stuff that's noticeable or problematic only. Forget about the rest.
Talk to people. Example ~~ I need to communicate to the business the current state of play but we'll touch base offline and define a suitable resolution for the comms going forward.
To think the same Example: "Yar, we had a workshop and the management team are all now re-aligned in terms of this proposal"
The process undertaken by a company to accept new customers. Managers these days ONBOARD people and it's no longer a process, it's a JOURNEY.
This means they've written it down to look into. It's not as cool as it sounds guys!
To have a meeting. And discuss stuff.
Apparently people no longer just talk, they connect.
To make sure what's being said is correct. They may say: "Jon, I believe we're aligned in terms of best practices but please keep me honest here when I say we need more horizontality across the board in upskilling the team under the current financial constraints!"
To do what others do
Your manager doesn't think you're up to your job anymore so they're giving the responsibility to someone else.
‘Solutionise’ is business-speak for solving problems, as in: “Let’s solutionise this problem over lunch.” Although it is a word, it actually refers to the heating if metal to form a homogeneous solid solution.
Ironically, Decomplexify Simply complexifies the word for simplify. Simple!
E.g.'We are undertaking a root-and-branch review of our sales team to identify hits and misses' -- They're looking at everything!
Crappy way of saying something will pay for itself. Dont worry chaps, this project will wash its own face if we upskill and allocate the appropriate resource'
To do something absolutely horrible but it's what's good for the business
The end of the working day
Let's meet up and talk.
Work Faster! I'm looking for a polite way of suggesting that you need to pull your Finger out and work harder.
A natural, no-brainer way of looking at a problem (or challenge). They may say: 'Let's look at this hollistically and cross fertilise ideas to achieve a win-win solution to this challenge'.
A better management team. For example, Balfour Beatty recently announced an "updated leadership". The sacked their old managers and brought in some new, more accountable ones.
Let's discuss this at a high level. Meaning, let's give a quick overview.
Not much spare time
Taking advantage of each others strong points to work together
"Yar, but in terms of reaching the finishing line, we're conscious we've not yet seen the revised design". Everybody is conscious of stuff. Shame they're not conscious of how moronic they sound speaking like this!
To work globally, when the sun sets in one location, it rises in another and business continues... globally.
It means cover you verbose fools! There is another phrase ending in 'off' I'd like to say to people who try and make the banal seem important in this way
To be beaten up on a United Airlines aeroplane after not volunteering to miss your flight e.g. "I apologize for having to re-accommodate these passengers"
Why do people in IT roles feel it necessary to call themselves Evangelists? This is unbelievably poncy. It seems to be the latest buzz word for both IT professionals with bug ego's and small members! Come on guys... knock it off!!!
Aiming for the most achievable goal
Worry about what you're working on, not what everyone else is doing.
To bring in new business. "Yar, we're onboarding new clients right now in a classic example of professionalized horizontality"
No idea - I think it means to make something professional or to implement something professionally. I think! Any ideas?
We will transition to these new methods. No, we will MOVE to these new methods.
Remove any potential problems or risks. I.e. plan properly!
To learn from someone.
Very localised marketing - apparently.
"We must align our strategies and interests to those of the business." - I think it means we need to do what the company or manager wants
To do everything at once in a big way!
A conversation is always two-way.
"Yar, we need to get updated costings on this solution going forward to ensure a synergistic approach and a win-win for us all!"
There must be so many problems out there because everything requires a SOLUTION these days.
This is used instead of "Add Value". FFS!
Apparently you cannot say "Brainstorm" now as it may offend. So if we Thought Shower, then we're all clouds and we drop a thought shower into the conversation.
Just means: Everything: "Lets's get belt and braces on this before we move forward with our Due Diligence and perform an Acid Test. We need to win Hearts and Minds on this one guys!"
You're not getting what you've asked for! "We need to manage expectations here"
When you're not checking your email. "Yar, it appears Alan if off the grid, this needs to be addressed going forward as we can't touch base with him on this due diligence report for the transformational workflow!''
To look down on the situation. "I'm going to take a Helicopter View on this proposal to appreciate all angles before engaging those in the transformation workflow!"
To have two people (assuming they have two eyes each) to review and approve something.
Provide. What on earth is wrong with using 'provide'?!
The process of creating and documenting ideas
To start a process.... "I'm about to flip the domino and meet this challenge head on".
To double check. "Can you sense check this for me?".
Passing something back to be dealt with: "The client has pushed back on that change".
A plan that has no solid foundations. It's just a bunch of ideas at this stage.
To communicate with someone. "I'll interface with Gary about that"
"My advisor just fielded a difficult query, this is a game changer now!". Means to deal with (or field) something.
"I did what I could, but there was a gap in my knowledge..." This means: "I didn't understand...". It is OK to admit to this you know! It will make you a bigger person.
Changes: "We have a transformation workflow in place." - "We are making some changes."
Nope! not a clue. It must be something like that other David Brentism, "if we are all facing in the same direction, all we have to do is walk forward".
Absolutely no idea what this means!!
an additional requirement at the last minute
Test. But sounds cooler.
Lets be honest
A new and over-used term for precaution or care. Used all the time in the corporate environment. "We need a due diligence review with this project!"
A way of saying everything has been thought about. I think??
When you speak to someone in the office, apparently you REACH OUT to them.
Designing something in such a way as to provoke an emotion from the viewer e.g. "I want you to emotionalise our website" / "I've emotionalised this advert"
This has replaced "abilities" I think. "You must have the core competencies to be able to action the key deliverables going forward" - WTF?
This is the latest craze for companies. Sending people on training courses to show they're investing in their staff. To become "Trailblazers". It's utter crap!
To push a product or service to (or across) multiple clients
Another way of saying difficult - almost like 'difficult' sounds defeatist.
To hold off doing work, for example: "I'm going to push back on that request".
The first of January, or which ever month is stated. Saying the month name followed by ONE, seems to delight the idiots who say it.
Example: "We're meeting with the core business to win their Hearts and Minds and gain some traction with this project."
Is this like pre-plan, maybe? If you're PRE thinking, aren't you thinking anyway?
To keep work inside the business
Something screwed up but it's been conveniently written off as a learning experience. Often (and stupidly!) pluralised, example "I got critical learnings from that project"
"We must find the synergy between what they're offering and our position"
"I'm going to a senior management meeting. We'll circle back later."
A whole new way of looking at something. Just an annoying way of saying such.
A training session. That's it. A training session. There are no tools or wood in this "workshop"
A rather insulting way of saying: To train on something new.
To try something out. Often followed by "... and see who salutes." Meaning, see who agrees.
To communicate to others. "Can you cascade that down to everyone after this meeting."
To review or double check something.
No, not going out and clubbing someone to death - Instead we're going to action this sunset and get it done asap
This is a STUPID phrase! Imagine filing an insurance report for a road accident - I was not "thinking in real time" so I crashed! What utter bollocks!!
"Please advise as to how you would like to manage this going forward."
A term used to pay for cross-departmental work. It's pretend money... for free work!
This is a way of saying there will be cuts to jobs, salaries or other vital services.
You either plan, or you don't.
To backtrack without admitting failure.
We aren't playing football, why don't we just
I'm not sure exactly what these are but I do know they are an example of micro content
Designed to fight information overload. Examples include snackable memes and bite-sized data visualizations
People use this as a term to EMAIL someone. "Yar, I'll ping you my agenda and we'll touch base!"
"Yar, yar, if we could list all the deliverables for this solution... that'd be great!"
No, not your car silly! This means to put a subject aside and discuss it later, of course!
"There was a disconnect". A phrase uttered by the fatuous, disconnect is clearly a verb, "it disconnected" or "there was a disconnection". The correct usage should be "There was a disconnection" or better "There was some kind of disparity" THIS IS NOT A NOUN!
I don't want to know how you feel your gut.
From start to finish, a comprehensive solution - first heard in the 1990s, this is a curious management term. It would seem to be a metaphor for a meal, but whilst meals often begin with a soup course, they rarely conclude with nuts. A more factually correct term might be "Soup to Coffee and an After Dinner Mint"
Having a closer look at a problem (apparently!)
This phrase is used a lot by idiots who have no, or very little knowledge of technology. You can't actually feel a website. It is the very essence of intangibility!
Years ago, this is what happened before you got married, now nobody has a clue what it means, but we sell it by the cart load
"This new position giver me greater exposure". People are aware of my existence
God knows why, but quotes can be only 1,2,3,5,8,13 etc
lets have a think about it
Someone who is taking lead on planning for a project
Now this is OK - when used correctly but to use it multiple times in the same sentence is essentially not acceptable.
"Yar, yar you go ahead and diarize that". Or, maybe just put something in my calendar??
To share ideas - no to actually share ones' personal mind
This is almost as bad as "User Journey" or "User Story"
Also as Communication. "The client is sending out a communication on this… " You mean they're sending an email???
Are you touching them? No - you're on the phone to them - hardly "reaching out" now is it?!
Do we have visibility of that budget? Can I get visibility on that?
Getting more people involved (not engaged) with abilities to take on the required tasks.
Discussed something as part of a meeting or through other correspondence. "Have you briefed Bill in on this?"
More than one person’s thoughts considered on the same subject.
"Yar, I can’t answer that question; I’ll take it away and get back to you." Just say "Can I get back to you on that?". The question is not an 'object' you can 'take away' and return.
"How did you replay that to her?" Just say "What did you tell her?".
Actually voted the most irritating term used at work!
"We need to touch base and discuss engaging further revenue streams" No! You need to meet and discuss other areas on income for the business.
"We need to move on up that value chain" Meaning to increase the price, but suggests your product/value was crap anyway!
"Yar, yar when do you see the sunset on that project?" No! Just say "When do you see that project finishing?"
What? Are we Jackanory all of a sudden? This is the same as User Journey and Customer Journey. People laugh.
Used to describe the process a user goes through - in software - for example. So annoying!
To reply to someone. Example: "Yar, I'll go ahead and feed that back".
This filler phrase is VILE - it is used all the time and its use has become a GLOBAL pandemic! Just listen for it and you will hear it... many times a day!
"We have no bandwidth for that given the current recruitment freeze". You measure data transfer capacity in bandwidth, not staffing levels!
"I'm like 110% sure on that!" No! Per Cent (cent being 100). You cannot have more that 100%
"Is that on your radar?" What?! This is not Miramar TopGun! We are not tracking inbound enemy bogies!
I just hate this!
To discuss when off the phone or away from a hangout: "Yar, yar let's take this offline?"
This is business, it's not a game. Why is every major change in politics and business a "Game Changer" these days?
It's an office! Not a group of interconnected elements, formed by the interaction of a community of organisms with their environment!
"If you could go ahead and action that for me. Thadda be grrreat!"
Get someone involved. "Let's loop Larry in on this!"
Don't bother, you'll just fall over. Just say, 'Its not a problem'.
"Yar, yar, let's get the Business Development Team engaged on this one!".
To meet up and talk face to face
What Is This? A Competition Between Doctors? Who Has The Best Practice?!
To delve deeper into a given subject area.